The Complexities of Being a Magazine Editor and Dealing With Said Editor

by Brian Brennan

very so often I’m greeted with those wide-eyed stares and pointed questions about what it’s like to exist in the glamorous yet oddly obscure world of a famous magazine editor. Buckle up because, spoiler alert, it’s a lot like throwing a legendary Saturday night garage party where your pals show up, you can tell who is showing up by their exhaust note for the free pizza and your preferred adult beverage, but then promptly forget who brought them—like you’re some sort of magical pizza-supplying genie!

Honestly, it feels like eons since I held the crown as the reigning diva of the editorial kingdom. (It’s my editorial and my fantasy!) And let me tell you, the title of “famous magazine editor” has slipped into the forgettable abyss of job descriptions right alongside “professional yo-yo master” and “professional cat herder” (and I do know a lot about “cat herding”).

Now, don’t get me wrong. Those of us who thrive in the fast-paced, diamond-encrusted lifestyle of editing wouldn’t trade it for anything—except maybe a substantial raise, a buffet-sized plate of free time, a sprinkle of respect from colleagues, and, for the love of all that’s holy, a nudge from our significant others acknowledging that, yes, I do work. And no, binge-reading three magazines doesn’t automatically qualify me as a real hot rodder!

You know you’re really in trouble when the phrase, “When are you going to grow up and get a job?” turns into your daily alarm clock! Who would have thought that photographing car features, being part of and leading epic events, and managing seasonal color palettes wouldn’t win me a gold star from my mom? Bless her soul, she went to her grave still waiting me to “grow up” and get a “real” job—sorry, Mom, that ship has sailed into the sunset, likely with a side of tire smoke.

This morning, I found myself unwittingly drawn into an email war zone with the fickle forces of editorial nature: Nick Licata, the esteemed, aging editor of All Chevy Performance, and Barry Kluczyk, our resident contributor/expert in technical jargon. Barry, bless his techie heart, was grappling with a conundrum—his latest project could fit perfectly in either ACP or Modern Rodding. So, like a diplomatic superhero, he tossed this flaming baton to both of us and suggested we settle it.

The following illustrates how two professionals handle such a predicament in a skilled and mature manner.

Nick and Brian,
Gents: During a super-secret mission this week [name withheld to protect the innocent … aka, we don’t want them to stop advertising], I captured the build of one of their next must-have products. Thought it would be prime material for both your magazines, but I wasn’t sure where to send it. You guys can wrestle for it.
Thanks, Barry

Barry and Nick,
For some reason, when I first read your email, I thought it was from another company we don’t want to embarrass [so, I made a tactical retreat and withheld the name]—just checking to see if everything’s good with the ad department (rarely a good idea!). Please disregard my previous email regarding their support for MR and not ACP–apparently, they’re supporting both.
Thanks, Brian

Brian,
The friggin’ reason you missed it is that you’re old, you can’t read, and your reading glasses have turned into a relic of ancient history. Hugs …
Thanks, Nick

Nick and Barry,
Amen to that, not to mention those “blue hair” specials for dinner starting at 3 p.m.! I’m pretty fond of them due to their benefit of getting me in bed by 6!
Thanks, Brian

Nick and Brian,
I’m all about dodging the dinner rush these days. Heck, I can stay up until about 10 p.m. … on weekends!
Thanks, Barry

Barry and Brian,
Ha! Hate to admit it, but I’m with you on that! Going out to dinner and home by 10 p.m.? Living on the edge, my friends!
Thanks, Nick

Barry and Nick,
It’s a sad truth but Father Time has smacked Mother Nature upside the head, and all the cool perks she handed out have quietly left the building. I know more about eyeglasses and hearing aids than I do about small-block Chevys, which is a pretty bleak reflection of my life’s priorities!
Thanks, Brian

Brian and Nick,
Joking aside, Brian, I’m honestly amazed that you’re still cranking out magazines with such boundless enthusiasm and energy. Seriously, take a bow!
Thanks, Barry

Barry,
Thank you for the kind words; they are greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Brian

Barry and Brian,
Barry, define “enthusiasm” when talking about Brian. Couldn’t resist!
Thanks, Nick

Nick and Barry,
That was brutal. If I cared more, I’d be offended.
Thanks, Brian

Nick and Brian,
Ha ha … but Nick, he’s now going to put Drano in your coffee.
Thanks, Barry

Barry and Brian,
I always keep a lid on my coffee around him. I know better.
Thanks, Nick

That was all that was fit to print. No wonder we are always late with deadlines and never quite understand why we run out of time. It’s a damn good thing that emails aren’t taxed. But you get the idea that the high-pressure, fast-paced, moderately competitive and low-paying world of being a magazine editor is something. I’m not sure what that “something” is, but none of us would honestly give it up–but never say “never.”